Undone in the Flesh
by ceej4
Summary: An old friend from Helen's past appears.
1. Undone in the Flesh

**Undone in the Flesh**

**by Cj**

**Pairing: **Helen Magnus/OC

**Spoilers: **vague mention of Ashley

**Disclaimer: **_Sanctuary _belongs to Amanda Tapping, Damian Kindler, and the SyFy Channel.

**A/N: **I am a Helen/Will shipper, so this story is as much a surprise to me as it is to you.

**A/N 2: **Also, the title comes from a Druitt quote from episode "End of Nights 2."

**"What's bred in the bone can't be undone in the flesh."**

Helen shifted on the couch, her focus momentarily broken by a disturbance in the air around her. She glanced about the room, but nothing seemed out of place. Still, she understood. With a smirk, she returned to her reading, Will's curious smile unanswered as she offered no explanation for her brief lapse in concentration.

Walking across the main foyer of the Sanctuary, Will was lost in a file, his head down in resolved concentration. Turning a page in the folder he was carrying, he was surprised when the folder landed on the floor as he ran into something solid.

"Oh, I..." He bent down to retrieve his papers but stopped as he realized he was bowed in front of a stranger. He took her in slowly, sweeping from her brown leather knee-high boots to her jet black hair. Her fine honeyed skin and grey eyes momentarily distracted him until he remembered she had appeared out of nowhere. "I'm sorry. I...Wait. Where did you come from?"

She only smiled. "You must be Will."

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?"

"She is Samantha West."

The woman's gaze never left Will, but she addressed Helen as she said, "He's cute. No wonder you like keeping him close."

Will felt the heat rising in his cheeks, but he turned to the approaching doctor, whose eyes were locked with Samantha's.

"Magnus?"

"She's an old friend, Will, one who refuses to grow up."

Samantha laughed. "Like you'd want me to. And don't call me old. I'm still younger than you." Her smiled faded into something more tender. "I've missed you, Elle."

"And I you."

Will looked from one woman to the other and then cleared his throat in an effort to discreetly interrupt the seemingly private moment. They both turned to him, Samantha looking amused, Helen contrite.

"I'm sorry. How did you get in here?"

"I imagine she walked through the door," Helen said.

"Yeah, but, I mean, she just seemed to iappear/i."

Helen chuckled. "That's because she literally walked through the door."

"Well, more like slipped under it," Samantha corrected quietly.

Will's confusion was plain. "Okay."

"Show him," Helen instructed.

Samantha closed her eyes and began to glow, becoming a mere shimmer of particles. Will watched in fascination as she disappeared completely before reappearing less than a minute later.

"Wow. How...How do you do that?" He turned to Magnus. "I thought Clara was the only invisible abnormal?"

"I'm not invisible, geek boy. I transmorph."

"You were gone. You were here, and then you were gone."

"She only seemed to be gone, Will," Helen said. "In fact, she only became something else."

"Huh?"

Samantha laughed. "I control molecules, turn them into basically become anything I want, like dust, which you can't see unless you know what you're looking for."

Will shook his head in wonder. "Wow. Can you do that again?"

"How about something a little more instructive? Helen tells me you like to learn."

She held out her hand, empty and palm up. Suddenly, a shape began to take form and an apple materialized. She offered it to him, and he took it hesitantly.

"It's solid," he said, surprised.

Samantha nodded. "Go ahead. Taste it."

Will did as instructed but then cringed as he chewed. "Has no taste."

"That's because it's made of air," Helen explained. "She pulled the molecules from the air and gave them a form."

"It has weight," he said, lifting the apple as if in demonstration.

"But no substance or texture. It doesn't taste or smell or feel like an apple," Samantha supplied.

"Can you change already-formed entities or just create something from nothing?"

Samantha raised an eyebrow at Helen. "You weren't kidding about the questions," she said. Helen just smirked.

"At least they're directed to you this time."

Samantha sighed. "I can do anything with molecules, including turning you into a soup."

"How?" Will asked, nonplussed at the conversation between the two women or the idle threat.

"That's for you scientists to figure out. Hey, there's an idea. Elle here has a journal all about me. She's run every test imaginable. Why don't you go read and I'll catch up to you later?"

Will turned to Helen. "I, uh, I guess I was being a little rude." He gave Samantha a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry. I guess you would like to settle in, maybe get something to eat?"

"Sounds like a good idea," Samantha said, affection morphing into something else as she glanced at Helen. "Something to eat sounds perfect."

"I'll just take you to the kitchen," Helen said as she motioned for Samantha to precede her down the hallway.

As they walked away, Will was almost certain he saw Helen's face flush.

"How long are you prepared to stay?" Helen asked as they walked along the hallways of the Sanctuary.

"Just tonight. Maybe tomorrow." Samantha stopped just as they entered the kitchen. Placing her hand on Helen's arm, she forced the other woman to look at her. "I'm sorry about Ashley."

"Thank you. I know to never ask where you've been, but we could have used your help."

Samantha just nodded but turned her attention to the cabinets lining the wall. "I'm sorry," she said again. "It...I was unavailable."

"One of these days that won't be acceptable," Helen said evenly. "Now, I do believe we have a few of your favorite cookies stashed around here somewhere."

"You had the Big Guy make a batch last night, didn't you?" Samantha asked as she took a bite of the cookie Helen offered. "You got my message."

"I did. It was late. Will and I were working in the library."

Samantha jumped up to sit on the counter. "You really enjoy his company."

"He's comfortable."

"You need that," Samantha said as she pushed an errant strand of hair behind Helen's ear.

Helen's smile was sad, but she interlaced her fingers with Samantha's and tugged the younger woman from her perch.

"Come. I'll show you to your quarters."

"I guess that means I won't be sharing your bed tonight," Samantha teased.

"No," Helen said. "It means I will be sharing yours."

Two hours later, Will was in his office when he heard a knock on the open door. Samantha was leaning against the wall and greeted him with a smile.

"Thought I would give you warning this time," she said.

"Thanks."

"Reading about me?" she asked as she moved further into the room. Picking up one of the journals littering his desk, she flipped through it before adding it to a growing stack.

"You weren't kidding when you said she'd run every test possible."

"Yeah, Elle likes to poke and prod. Learn anything interesting?"

"Your molecular structure doesn't seem to be bonded. How do you keep from dispersing?"

"I don't know. Doesn't Helen explain?"

"Magnus believes you create some kind of EM field in order to control each molecule, but there are billions of molecules in a human being. How do you create something so powerful? Do you direct the energy? Where does it come from? And, when you change into something else, how do you put yourself back together?"

Samantha shrugged. "Just do. It's not so hard anymore. When I was a kid, I used to make things appear and disappear at random. If I wished for something, it would materialize, kind of like Tabitha on iBewitched/i. It was fun until I became a danger to myself and others."

"That's how you met Magnus?"

"The first time, yeah. She came out of nowhere and helped me learn how to harness my power."

"You were seven?"

"Yes."

"The records indicate she worked with you for only a few months."

Samantha nodded. "My father put a stop to the lessons. He wanted me to be normal and felt Helen's influence was only reinforcing my…peculiarity."

"What happened?"

"I had learned enough to continue teaching myself. I struggled with identities for years until my father grew tired of making excuses for me. He threw me out. I was 17 and living on the streets." She cocked her head to the side, a playful smile on her lips. "Well, isort of/i. I was using my power to do whatever I wanted."

"That's when Magnus brought you to the Sanctuary."

"Elle found me hiding out in San Francisco. She brought me here, and then we traveled all over the world visiting the other houses."

Will lifted one of the journals. "There's very little here after that."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't the same person when she found me the second time."

"She doesn't seem to have given up on you?"

"She does have a history of perseverance."

Will scoffed. "That's an understatement. So, did you part ways then?"

"It was 1973, and I was 19 years old. I guess you could say I decided to try something different. I stayed in London, began university, worked my way through two degrees, and bought a house in the country. I wanted a safe, peaceful life."

"Do you still live there?"

"Sometimes." Samantha grew reflective. "Not enough I suppose."

"Where do you go when you're not in England?"

"Here and there. Doesn't matter."

"Okay," Will said, realizing Samantha was clearly not going to share more information. "Do you use your power often?"

"Only when necessary," Samantha hedged. "There's more to the world than you know, young William. Helen Magnus has not yet begun to show you what wonders this universe holds."

"You sound like a Jedi master."

Samantha laughed. "So I do. A long life and a love of all things Carrie Fisher will do that to a person."

"Don't listen to her, Will. She'll lead you into temptation and then abandon you."

Both Will and Samantha turned toward the door where Henry was standing. Samantha beamed.

"You'll enjoy every minute of it though," she said as she made her way to Henry's side and pulled him into a hug.

"If you survive," he answered. "When did you get in and why didn't you come find me?"

"I haven't been here long, and I followed the routine."

Henry rolled his eyes. "Always the doc first but don't tell me Will has taken my place as the number two guy."

"Never," she said as she ruffled his hair.

"Does the Big Guy know you're here?"

"Yes, but I haven't seen him. I've been busy."

"You'd better say hello before you leave."

"She will," Helen said. All three of them turned to the new arrival. "But, she's not leaving until tomorrow, so she has time to visit with everyone."

"Ah, yes, maybe I should split myself in several pieces. Let all of you have a crack at me."

"I take it Will has been investigating?"

"Something like that."

"Good luck," Henry murmured.

"Whatever he's doing will have to wait," Samantha said, a smirk forming as she looked Magnus up and down. "For now, we have some business to attend. Gentlemen, if you'll please excuse us."

"Sure," Henry said even though he was certain Samantha was not listening. He and Will watched as she wrapped her arms around Magnus, pulling the doctor close to her body and transforming them to ashes before they vanished all together. "That's so mind-blowing."

"Yeah." Will came to stand next to Henry. "So, who is she?" he asked.

Henry shrugged. "I don't really know. Did you read her file?"

"Yes, but there's only basic info on her past, all general. It's mostly medical. Her file lists her as being born in 1954."

"That's about right. She's been coming around since I was a kid. She looks pretty good for a 56 year old, huh?"

"You're telling me," Will said, appreciation clear.

"She stops by every couple of years. Never stays long. She's fun while she's here." Henry paused in thought and then added, "Sometimes, I think Magnus goes to her. Every seven years or so, the doc goes on vacation."

"To a villa, yeah, I know. She meets Samantha there?"

"I think so."

"What's the nature of their relationship?" Will asked. "They seem...close."

"Your guess is as good as mine. You know Magnus. She doesn't share the personal stuff."

"Yeah," Will repeated as he stared at the spot where the women had been.

"Come away with me."

Helen sighed. "You know I can't."

"Should I try to influence you?" Samantha whispered as she nuzzled just below Helen's ear. "Elle."

"Proper names, Samantha."

Samantha laughed, carefree and kind. "Does that mean Will is an exception?" She kissed Helen's neck. "Should I be jealous?"

"Stop being ridiculous."

Samantha unbuttoned Helen's blouse to expose milky-white skin and then nipped at Helen's newly revealed breastbone. "He has a lot of questions."

"Hmmm," Helen almost moaned. She tangled her hands in inky black hair. "He always does. Makes him good at his job."

"Will you answer them?"

"Not all of them." Helen gently tugged, and Samantha kissed her way back to Helen's lips.

"And if he asks if you're in love with me?"

"I'll tell him the truth," Helen answered.

"Good. Maybe then he can tell me."

"Do you really want to know?"

"No," Samantha said as kissed Helen again. "Never."

Forcing Helen to sit up, Samantha pushed her shirt off her shoulders, lips ghosting across the uncovered skin. Helen tilted her head back giving Samantha better access to her throat. Samantha smiled against Helen's jaw as she felt Helen's fingers slipping under her T-shirt. Fisting the material in her hands, Helen tugged the garment up and over Samantha's head just as Samantha went to work on the buckle of Helen's trousers. Growling in frustration, she ran her hands over their remaining clothing and it all fell away into nothingness. She grinned and moved down Helen's body, her tongue leaving a hot trail that cooled in the sticky air surrounding them.

"I knew there was an upside to having this power," she said into Helen's bellybutton.

Helen just laughed.

As they lay tangled in the sheets, Helen on her back with Samantha draped over her, Helen ran her hand over the smooth skin of Samantha's thigh.

"You'll need to stop that if you intend for us to get any sleep," Samantha said, drowsy and contended.

"I don't require much sleep," Helen replied, but she pulled Samantha closer and kissed her forehead.

"Hmm. I remember." The silence settled over them until Samantha leaned up. Putting her weight on her elbow, she looked down at Helen. "I really do miss you."

Helen traced Samantha's cheek, her fingers lingering over Samantha's lips. "You have a lovely smile."

"Is that your way of saying it's my own fault?" Helen smirked, and Samantha twisted until the other woman was under her. "I would stay, Elle, if I could. Do you believe me?"

"The sun is rising," Helen said. "You'll be leaving in less than six hours."

Samantha kissed Helen softly, once and then twice. "I can't stay," she whispered. "But, I will always come back."

Helen closed her eyes to the promise but relaxed into Samantha's touch, believing only what she could feel and refusing to acknowledge, in a rare occurrence, the truth.

Samantha woke alone close to 11 a.m., just as she expected. She stretched lazily and grinned as the tension in her muscles pulled in pleasant ways. A note on the pillow next to hers requested her presence at lunch, and she shook her head fondly at the politeness of the demand between the lines. Getting up to take a shower, she hissed in pain at the red welts rising on her back when the water hit them. Concentrating, she deadened the nerves not needing any more pain but she didn't take away the marks. She would let them fade naturally, allowing them to serve as a reminder of her time with Helen. Once they were gone, she knew the loneliness would return, but she also knew she had no alternative. Instead, she dressed, pulling together an outfit from her mind and then making her way to find the few people she needed to see before leaving the Sanctuary.

After saying goodbye to the rest of her friends, Samantha found Will in the library. He glanced up at her when she entered.

"Hey, are you avoiding Kate?" he asked when Samantha dropped onto one of the sofas.

Samantha laughed. "Yep. I can only take one new person at a time."

"And, I'm the lucky one this time around?"

"Helen insisted."

"Gee, thanks. You know, you'd like her if you met her."

"Maybe," Samantha said with a shrug. "I'll find out next time."

"You're leaving? What about lunch?"

"I'm not really hungry."

Will sat down next to her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Can I stop you?"

"There's so much I still don't understand. Like, you're 56 but you look 30. How?"

"You forget I control every molecule in my body. Looking younger than I am is easy."

"Uh, yeah. Okay."

"Next."

"You said you parted ways with Magnus in 1973 yet here you are."

Samantha sighed. "I stopped travelling with her. I obviously didn't stop seeing her or talking to her or being a part of her life." Samantha leaned forward to put her elbows on her knees and run her hands over her face. "I was a kid. A foolish, stupid kid who thought I had all the answers to all the questions. Elle…" She shook her head. "Helen never gave up on me, but I gave up on her. I needed to."

"And now?"

Samantha met his eyes with a sad smile. "Now it's the other way around."

"I..."

"No. Just walk me to the roof. She'll meet us there."

Helen was waiting when they arrived. She had her back to them, but they both knew she was aware of them.

Samantha turned to Will. "It's been great," she said. "Get a list of questions ready for next time, huh?"

"Already working on it," he answered. He glanced at Helen. "Should I go?"

"No. Not yet."

She gave him one last smile before making her way next to Helen. "It's a beautiful day. Try not to spend all of it in the lab."

"Did you say goodbye to everyone?"

"Of course."

"When will I see you again?"

"I don't know. Soon. Your boy wonder has more questions."

"You won't answer them."

Shrugging, Samantha said, "You're probably right. You usually are. Still, it gives me an excuse." Helen smiled. "I should be going."

Helen finally faced Samantha. "There is always a place for you here."

"Life is complicated enough," Samantha teased but added more seriously, "though I will try to be available the next time you need me."

Nodding, Helen said, "Take care of yourself."

Samantha caressed Helen's cheek before taking a step away from her. She watched as Samantha dissolved, turning into a shimmering puddle before being swept away by the wind.

"I'll never get used to that," Will said as he came to stand by Helen.

"No," she agreed. "Neither will I."

Will turned toward Helen to say something else but let the words go at the wistful look dancing in her eyes. Instead, he touched her shoulder lightly and then went inside, leaving Helen to stare at the disappearing mist, the breeze tickling her skin just as a lover would.


	2. Fall to Pieces

**Chapter 2: Fall to Pieces**

**by Cj **

Will lurked in the library as Helen worked at the large desk in the middle of the room. He pulled out one book, flipped through it, replaced it, and repeated the process with another book, all the while trying to surreptitiously watch his boss.

"What is it, Will?" Helen finally asked after Will went through the routine for the fifth time. He glanced at her, but she was still writing, her focus firmly on the documents in front of her.

"Uh." He hesitated for a moment longer before rolling his eyes at himself and crossing the space between him and the object of his interest. He took a seat in front of the desk, and casually as possible, he said, "So, uh, it's been three weeks since Samantha left."

"Yes," Helen agreed.

"Have you heard from her?" he continued, undaunted by her lack of attention on him.

"Yes."

He waited, but she added nothing.

"She made it safely back home?" he prodded.

"Yes." Helen met his eyes. "She is safe and sound in England."

"Oh. Well, good."

She smirked. "You have been patient. Three weeks and not a single question. I didn't think it was possible."

The color rose in his cheeks, and he looked away. "Yeah, well, I got the feeling she's personal."

"That she is."

The admission surprised him. "Oh, uh, you've known each other a long time?"

"We first met in 1961. She was seven years old."

Will nodded. "Yeah, that's in the file."

"What you really want to know is what happened when we found each other again."

Will grimaced, caught in his curiosity despite his best intentions.

Helen sat back in her chair and studied him. He tried not to squirm under her intense gaze but knew she could sense his discomfort. Finally, she turned her stare to the books lining the shelves behind him, and with wistfulness he was unprepared for, she began telling him a story.

"I had watched her from afar for years, but it took me several months to find her after her father ordered her to leave their home."

"San Francisco?"

"Yes, and she wasn't the same, sweet little girl I had known. She was frustrated and angry, much as you would expect. Still, she accepted my offer of assistance under one condition."

"She would be allowed to travel with you?"

Helen nodded. "She did not want to stay here. She insisted she needed to be away from this continent to reinvent herself. I knew she was fragile, and I enjoyed her company, so I did not argue. I knew she would return when she was ready. I was traveling throughout Europe frequently during that time, and she took to the atmosphere." Helen smiled. "She rather enjoyed herself actually. Watching her relax was a pleasure and slowly the child I had adored reemerged."

"So all was well for two years?"

"She developed a keen interest in marine biology and engineering while we were visiting the Australian Sanctuary. As a result, she preferred to travel by boat despite the extended time it took to get from place to place. I'm afraid I indulged a little too often."

Will sat forward in his seat and propped his elbows on his knees. "She said she decided to settle down in London in 1973. Why did she choose to stop traveling with you?"

Helen sighed and picked up her pen, twirling it absently between her fingers. Will watched in fascination, sure he had never seen her do something so futile.

"After two years of wandering, I would like to say she'd had enough."

"But?"

"But, in truth, she would have remained a nomad forever. She practically has."

Will scrunched his brows. "I thought she went to school and bought a house."

"She did. She has a quaint country cottage on the outskirts of London. She also earned doctorates in science and engineering at Oxford."

"Wait. She's a scientist?"

"Quite the accomplished scientist."

Will leaned back into his chair. "She led me to believe she was not interested in science."

Helen smirked. "Samantha has an interest in virtually everything." At Will's chuckle, Helen added, "I told you she is no longer the sweet child I had once known. She matured in the two years she saw the world with me. By the time we had returned to London, she was certain she knew what she wanted from life."

"So what was the problem?"

"She was also certain she knew what I wanted from life."

"Oh," Will said as the implication hit him. "I…Were the two of you…"

"No. She was still a child, Will."

"Yes, of course," Will said, a bit flustered. "But, she thought…"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"It was a difficult and painful life lesson for us both."

**_**********flashback to 1973**********_**

"Please."

"Really, Samantha, I need to finish cataloguing these specimens."

"It's a beautiful day, Elle." Samantha leaned into Helen's shoulder and whispered into her ear. "Come play with me."

Helen sighed, but then she smiled. "Only for an hour," she said, trying and failing to sound stern. Samantha's grin was worth the sacrifice, so Helen allowed the younger woman to pull her from her chair and outside of the Sanctuary, the sun warming her skin and making Helen glad of her brief respite.

Samantha interlaced their fingers as they walked along the garden path behind the Sanctuary. They were safe within the fence but seemed alone, and Helen relaxed into the tingling sensation that always came from Samantha's touch. It was an effect she could explain with physics but always chose not to, drawing comfort from the feeling for reasons she could not rationalize.

Instead, she allowed Samantha to guide them and lost herself in the peacefulness that surrounded them.

"Penny for your thoughts," Samantha said, drawing Helen from her introspection.

Helen glanced at her companion but remained quiet for several more minutes. Finally, she said, "It's time we return to the Sanctuary."

Samantha stopped in her tracks, forcing Helen to stop with her. "What?"

Helen turned to face her, squeezing Samantha's fingers in reassurance. "Samantha, I must return to Old City. I cannot stay here forever, and you cannot hide indefinitely."

"Hide?" Samantha pulled her hand from Helen's and took a step back. "I'm not hiding, and I'm not prepared to follow your every whim, especially when you keep yourself locked away from me."

Helen shook her head. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

Samantha once again reached for Helen's hand. "Elle, I love you. I want to be with you, and I think you want to be with me, but you won't acknowledge anything other than your work. I need more."

"I…" Helen faltered and stared at Samantha in barely-concealed surprise. Sighing, she pushed a strand of Samantha's hair behind her ear. "Samantha, I care for you deeply but as a friend. Nothing more."

Samantha laughed and pulled away. "No, that's not true."

"It is. I'm sorry."

"No."

"Samantha."

"No," Samantha said, anger warring with grief in her voice.

"Please." Helen took a step forward, but Samantha moved out of her reach and turned her back to Helen's regret.

"Just go."

"We should talk."

Samantha shook her head. "Just go."

Helen stopped herself from arguing and acquiesced. "When you're ready, come find me."

Without another word, Helen watched as Samantha dematerialized, fearful it would be for the last time.

**_**********present day**********_**

"I returned to Old City several days later. Samantha remained in London. She agreed to work at the Sanctuary but only if our contact was minimal. Under the circumstances, I consented. It took five years before she would once again allow me to be a part of her life."

"Wow. How did you finally convince her?"

"I attended her graduation. She had dedicated herself to her studies, earning four degrees in five years. She focused her anger at her education." Helen's voice dropped. "However, it was almost more than she could handle."

"What happened?"

"Let's just say before she could completely control herself stress was not good for her system. She found it difficult to maintain her composure when she became overwhelmed."

"Literally?"

"Literally."

"Wow." Will leaned forward in his seat to study Helen for a long moment. "There's something you're not telling me. Did she blow up her school lab or something?"

Helen smirked. "Nothing so dramatic." Her expression sobered and her voice cracked as she said, "We almost lost her. She disappeared for several weeks. None of my attempts of finding her were successful. I worried she had given up, de-atomized or just lost control."

"What happened?"

"She appeared two nights before her graduation ceremony, exhausted and babbling about monsters in her closet, the same as she did when she was a child."

"Monsters in her closet?" Will said, skepticism heavy in his tone.

"When she younger and her powers were just starting to gain strength, random thoughts would become reality. It would be worse at night when her nightmares of monsters would suddenly appear from her closet."

"Talk about childhood trauma."

"Indeed. As she grew older and we began our work together, she learned how to prevent such occurrences, but the stress of final exams and a spiraling personal life shutdown her mental control system. Even though she knew she had created the monsters herself and could vanquish them with a thought, she still became overwhelmed with the constant barrage of negative stimuli."

"She had a nervous breakdown?"

"Of sorts, yes. I had to put her into an induced coma, slowing her brainwaves to near fetal levels in an effort to reboot her systems."

Will exhaled loudly. "It seems to have worked."

"For the most part, yes."

"What does that mean? She seemed normal to me. Well, as normal as a person can be who can manipulate molecules with just a thought."

"Samantha is in control of herself, but that control has taken years to perfect."

"Was that the reason she welcomed you back into her life?"

Helen nodded. "She had little choice though it was not the easiest of reunions. She was between the person she was and the person she is today."

"She has certainly grown up well," Will said, appreciation evident in his tone, but at Helen's raised eyebrow, he looked chagrinned. "Your relationship seems to have suffered no damage."

"We have made an effort to repair our friendship. Still, there is a reason she does not live with us here, Will, just as there is a reason you only recently met her."

"Is she stable?"

"It is a delicate balance, but she is too far important to our work to jeopardize that balance with trivial matters."

Will scrunched his forehead. "I'm confused. Does she work for the London Sanctuary?"

"Not directly. Please understand, Will, she is not the only one of her type," Helen said. "There are others."

"A race of beings who can control matter?"

"Yes. Most of them are benign, yet there are those who would use their power to destroy and control."

"And Samantha?"

"Is vital in ensuring those who would wreak havoc do not."

"She's a spy?"

"Of sorts."

Will sat back into his chair with a loud thud. "How does she know she's ever really alone?"

"It's complicated to explain. Simply put, she can sense others of her kind." Helen's features softened as she added, "She is quite powerful in her own right."

Will caught the pride in Helen's voice, but he knew it was mixed with a bit of sorrow as well. He thought he understood why.

"She doesn't have a lot of freedom, does she?" he asked gently.

Helen briefly met his eyes, but then she turned back to her work. "No. Her presence is required in many different locations at once."

"What does that mean?"

"That she is an ally of whom we can rarely rely," Helen said without looking at him. She had begun to write again.

Will watched her for a long moment before finally standing, knowing without being told his boss was not going to further elaborate on any matter relating to Samantha. He left the library with more questions than when he entered. In his office, the journals of Samantha's medical history still littering his desk, he laughed as a thought occurred to him. He wondered if Samantha knew she had gotten what she wanted: Helen Magnus was in love with her.


	3. Fading Practice

**A/N: **The book Samantha is reading is an essay entitled "Experience" by Arthur Benson. I suggest it.

This story picks up five years after the flashback in Fall to Pieces.

**Chapter 3: Fading Practice **

**_***1978***_**

Helen held the clipboard in her hands tightly as she stood over the young woman lying asleep on the hospital bed. It had been four hours since she had attempted to wake Samantha, and she had spent that time trying not to worry. She was being unsuccessful, she knew, because she had not managed to leave the room but once. Her thoughts were firmly on Samantha.

They had not spoken in five years until Sam had gone missing. Those silent years haunted Helen in ways she could not fully understand. Sighing, she turned her back to the cause of her confusion. In an effort to focus on other matters, Helen began evaluating a report from one of her teams but quickly switched to Sam's latest brain scan.

"I was a child."

Helen looked up from the computer screen she was reading to meet the eyes of her patient. Several responses flashed in her mind before she settled on the truth, her emotions making her one-word answer more animated than she intended.

"Yes."

Samantha struggled to sit up, and Helen rushed to her bedside to help.

"You really should not move so much so soon," Helen said. "Your body has been through a great deal. You need rest."

"It's been a long time since I've needed anything."

"Maybe," Helen said, but with a tilt of her head, she added, "Now you need rest."

Samantha caught Helen's wrist before the older woman could move away from the bed.

"I also need you to talk to me."

Helen glanced at Samantha's hand resting against her skin before flickering her gaze to pristine white sheets.

"Later."

"No. Now."

Her instinct was to argue. Instead, she allowed her relief to rule her judgment. She chuckled and said, "Still defiant."

"Still in love with you."

Helen sighed, her smile disappearing before it fully formed. "Samantha."

"I'm no longer a child, Elle. I'm a grown woman with advanced degrees and a checkered past. I know how I feel about you."

"Your age and your education do not make a difference."

"The difference is I do not expect you to love me in return."

Finally meeting Sam's eyes, Helen was quiet for a long moment, and the younger woman allowed the contemplation.

"What _do_ you want from me, Samantha?"

Sam grinned. "Nothing you'll be willing to give, at least not yet."

"Samantha." The harshness of her tone was softened by the sweetness of her smile, and Sam smirked teasingly. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better," Helen said as she sat on the edge of Sam's bed, tangling their hands together in a loose embrace.

"I am. You saved me. _Again_."

"You take too many risks."

"_Me_? Hello, kettle," Sam said with a laugh. It faded as she added, "I knew you were watching."

"It took weeks to find you, and then you suddenly just appeared. Where did you go? Tell me what happened."

Sam shook her head. "I don't really know. I remember leaving class after taking my final. I had not slept in weeks. I couldn't tell you the last time I ate. I was thinking about returning to the Sanctuary, but then a list of all the things I needed to do began playing in my head."

"You weren't taking care of yourself and overloaded your system. Even you need to eat and rest, Samantha."

"No, there was more to it than that. There was someone in my head. _Something_ there."

"And the three weeks you were missing?"

"I wasn't whole, but I also wasn't alone. I knew you were looking for me. I could feel your worry, but I couldn't come to you. It was like I was being held back."

"By what?"

Once again, Sam shook her head. "I don't know."

Helen narrowed her eyes at Sam's answer. "Do not lie to me."

"I'm not. I really don't know what it was."

"You know more than you're telling me."

Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Sam said, "I don't think I'm alone."

Helen's eyebrows knitted together. "Another being like yourself?"

Sam nodded. "Yes. More than one."

"How is that possible? We've had no indication of others."

"I was coming apart, Elle." Sam touched Helen's chest, just above her heart. "Do you remember when I gave you a piece of me? That piece connects us, allows us to communicate. It ties us together. I feel the loss of that piece; it pulls at me. Whoever took me, stole another piece. Who else could do that other than someone like me?"

Helen shook her head. "We don't know enough, Samantha."

"I do."

"You don't. You've been in a coma for two days. You were so weak when you materialized, I don't know how you survived. I almost lost you. If you knew your limits, you would not have pushed yourself beyond them."

"Yes, because you never push yourself beyond your limits. You forget I know you."

"And, I should have expected an argument as soon as you woke."

Helen stood, and this time Samantha let her go.

"I'm strong because of you!" Samantha said to Helen' retreating form.

A few hours later, Helen returned to the medical ward to find Samantha sitting up in bed reading.

"'Experience'. The Big Guy brought it to me. He said I would need something to keep me in place until you came to your senses."

"He is not on your side, Samantha. You cannot flash your smile at him, or at me for that matter, and expect either of us to give in to your every whim."

"Has always worked before," Samantha said, her attention still on her book. "'It is the experience that we need, though we do not know it.' Truth in literature strikes again."

"Arthur Benson was a lunatic."

Samantha shrugged. "The best ones usually are."

"What is your plan?"

"I don't have a plan."

"Samantha."

At Helen's irate tone, Sam sighed and finally put her book down. "I follow that piece of myself that was taken from me, and then I take it back."

"That's not a plan, Samantha."

"I told you I didn't have a plan," Sam said, adding lightly, "Just a course of action."

"An action that will most likely get you killed."

"I don't think so. If they had been powerful enough to kill me, they would have done it while they had me the first time. Something stopped them, and it wasn't a sudden bout of kindness."

Helen shook her head. "Stay at the Sanctuary. Let us help you. We'll figure it out together."

"I can't."

"You won't."

Sam stood from the bed and approached Helen slowly. "I _can't_. They cannot know about you or the Big Guy or anyone else who means anything at all to me." She reached for Helen's hand. "I can protect myself. I'm not so sure I can protect you."

"I no more need your protection than you claim not to need mine."

Sam laughed and tugged on Helen's fingers. "I know you are uncomfortable with my feelings for you, and I know your anger infuriates you because you do not want to give me the wrong impression."

"Samantha."

"It's okay. I won't be gone long, and when I return,…"

Helen pulled Samantha to her, cutting off whatever the younger woman had to say by kissing her so roughly Samantha could barely breathe. When they parted, Helen had tears in her eyes.

"Do. Not. Go."

Samantha could feel her own tears welling in her eyes. "I'll be back soon."

Sam found Helen on the roof. Standing on the edge overlooking the city, she resembled a stone angel. Silent. Still. Beautiful.

"I have to go."

"You don't," Helen said as she stepped from her perch and faced Sam. "Stay. I'll find a way to protect you. You can work within the Sanctuary."

"Helen, I've already told you I don't need protecting. I can't explain it, but they let me go because I was stronger than them. I know I'm safe."

"But, you don't know that!" Helen turned from Samantha in an effort to calm herself.

"Helen."

"Please don't."

Samantha sighed but silently made her way to stand behind the older woman, close without touching. "Goodbye, Elle," she whispered.

Helen did not move. Finally, Samantha reached to pull Helen to her, bringing their bodies together, but when Helen didn't relax into her, she pressed a kiss to Helen's temple, lingering for a long moment before disappearing, melting into nothing, leaving no trace of her existence.

She had no idea Helen's reluctance had little to do with anger but, instead, with an ever-growing greed to draw Samantha into her with her every breath.


End file.
